How much time should you spend on you? How much time on your family? How much time at work, and how much with the person you love? It's storming here, and over the past couple of weeks, I can't shake this lonely feeling. It's not something a beer could fix. It's not something a shopping spree could fix, because being pretty makes me feel more alone most of the time.
WHAT do I need DAMMIT!
What is wrong with me? Shouldn't I feel happy? I'm doing well in school, I have a job, I am healthy, and I have a roof over my head(damaged from the tornado, but a roof at that). I should be perfect. Why can't I shake this uneasy feeling that something is wrong? That something just isn't whole? Have I always felt this way, and it's just masked by cheap shoes and even cheaper thrills?
What keeps people so comfortable in life? Does everyone just fake happiness, or am I really the only one?
TIME...what a jerk. It comes, and it goes. It takes your beautiful memories, and replaces them with the bad memories you want so badly to forget. It takes you beautiful skin, and pulls a "hellraiser" act on it throughout time. It takes the one's you love, and it takes your breath away. I should be living it up! Have you ever watched a movie with people in their mid-twenties? Their skin glows, they are all tan and laughing, and on a beach somewhere making love. Granted, they usually die thereafter, but that's not the point. The point is, either I'm a boring, old asshole, or the stinking news media, and movies need to stop portraying the "youth" as youth, because I DO NOT feel young, and I'm sick and tired of older people telling me that I'm so lucky and that this is the best time of my life...It isn't.