About Me

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I am twenty-four years old, I love to read, write, sing, listen to music, watch theater, open presents, hike, and climb. The number one thing I dislike is lazy people. My goal in life over job, or money, or travel, is to overcome the struggles of the past, and become a whole, happy woman.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Cloudy with a chance of showers

My youth destroyed me. I was so loved and doted upon, called beautiful and taken care of by whoever was near. If I hadn't had all that, it wouldn't hurt so bad to be nothing now. I mean I'm nothing. Sure I'm a daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend, but it feels empty. The last four times my sister called me it was about presents she wanted me to buy her, her boyfriend, and her son. Mom is basically bipolar, she spent my entire youth not in existence, and not that she doesn't have to take care of or deal with me, she adores me. As for being a friend and a girlfriend, I think a lot of that is just a mask for me not being lonely, them not being lonely. Life is stagnant, and hurtful. It's bills and mental abuse. Empty goals and cold homes. I distract myself from the way I feel by playing games, and pretty clothes. Nothing seems worth it. Not school, not work, not the future. I just want to be done with school so I can apply to work in the peace corps and be out of this for two years. Maybe I'm just having a bad day, but sometimes I think "This is the real me, and the rest of the time, I'm being drugged by possessions and endorphins". I miss addiction. It was the one thing I could count on.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Pop Culture? What happened to Rock Culture?

When you turn on the radio, you get computer generated noises with bleach white smiles sitting in the recording studio's doing little to no work. What happened to Rock? What happened to full blood talent? To black and white romance instead of "vampire diaries"? Simplicity and talent got confused with a clump of spoiled brats and gangsters talking into a microphone. I hear most of these "chicks" and the new-found men who look like chicks sound horrible live, and the ones that don't, they have enough money to bring along their massive sound machines to make them sing on key.

Lake City, Colorado

We headed to the highest peak in the San Juan mountain range, wanted to see what 14,000 feet looked like. Didn't quite make it, but got a work out looking for it.