About Me

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I am twenty-four years old, I love to read, write, sing, listen to music, watch theater, open presents, hike, and climb. The number one thing I dislike is lazy people. My goal in life over job, or money, or travel, is to overcome the struggles of the past, and become a whole, happy woman.

Friday, November 30, 2012

A letter to a kindred soul

I received a book in the mail today, that one does not just buy themselves. Deep down I am a romantic, but I don't buy into this modern sex appeal and swift love. I want deep old fashion love, filled with subtlety and private meanings. Anyway, nine of this is important to this post, but I believe a thank you is in order, and how else to say thank you, but by a quote of the gift.

"Do not believe that I have ever failed to appreciate you; to think that would be to wrong me; for it would imply that you thought that I know not how to appreciate that which is devoted and noble. "
Napoleon the III, 1845


Friday, November 16, 2012

Should You give money to the homeless?

I'm a recent citizen of the "big city" (nothing is truly big in Oklahoma), and moving from a small town to a big city, I'm new to the world of the U.S homeless. I don't know what is accurate, about the homeless as I hear so many things. I pulled up to a stop light this morning and there was a dirty man in his forties holding a sign saying he and his family needed help, and my heart sank. As I pulled away and saw him in the rear view mirror I remembered the four one's I had in my purse. I thought "what if he truly did have a family that needed my help. Kids? A wife counting on him? How often do the homeless lie about there status? Should I feel guilty about my life? I just don't know. I'm assuming I'll feel guilty either way, but what are your views or experiences.

Poem about my lawyer(I know, I'm odd)

My lawyer says he's proud of me,
Old man with a brand new heart.
We are strangers,
But kindred torn apart

He keeps his hearing aid
In a jar of artichokes,
And his faith
Made me cry and gave me hope.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Being thankful

I realized today that because I use my writing to vent, that I don't sound like a very happy person, but today I will try to change that. What I'm about to say may sound bitter and not as happy as Im trying to make it out to be, but know that I truly mean it when I say I'm thankful, It is a new day and I'm alive;walking, breathing and smiling, but I would like to take a second and reflect on how many times all this could have ended.

I'm thankful my father saved me as a baby, when I could have suffered shaken baby syndrome, I'm thankful my sister walked into the bathroom when I was a baby and under water in the bath tub, I'm thankful for her again when she saved me from choking on a particular brown peanut M&M when I was five,and when I was six, my step father saved me from drowning in some rapids after I fell off my tube, and when I refused to get back into the water, he graciously walked with me the entire stretch of river. I'm grateful that at the age of thirteen when I tried to swallow a bottle of 409 bathroom cleaner that I promptly threw it up, and that when I was cutting myself with scissors and knives that I never cut too deep. I'm thankful for the night in eleventh grade when I sped across town and ran every red light at 80mph, I could have died or killed another person. I'm thankful I had Matt when I skipped my senior prom and tried to drown myself. I'm thankful for my mistakes that allow me to grow stronger and see a broader perspective. Without all those people in my life who saved me, and without the grace of God, I would not be here today, and while sometimes in my life I don't enjoy the choices or paths I have to take, at least I'm here to see the few beautiful up days and the strengths of the wonderful people around me.

Thank you God for keeping me alive, when it would have been easier to let me go:)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Young Republican, in a sea of Liberals

I put my pearls in to clean today, both things sooth my naturally cranky disposition. However, today with the election results sinking in, I'm a little more bitter than usual. I'm getting more and more aware that I'm not going to shake this generational retardation that I have forever grown up with. The same ones that followed the crowd and spent their time seeking attention from designer clothes and living off mommy and daddy, are now attempting to wear hemp and attend music festivals to prove their love for the environment and how they have soul. That is the liberal I know. Having your money, belongings and destiny handed to you gives you no right to dictate what the hard working people of this society are trying to do with our country. I'm tired of people voting because of one issue. I think giving is a wonderful thing, but I also think if you worked hard your whole life and came into money on your own, you should get a break. The sad thing is, if the poor were in the position that they came into money they would change their views. Mine haven't differed. I struggle with finances, but I work, and go to school, so I can get a better career and live comfortably. What society is telling me is that when I get to that point, I should give ALL of my money to the poor because they didn't have the same opportunities that I have? That's bullshit. I'm a white female, and while that probably meant something ten or twenty years ago, the tables have turned. I receive no minority scholarships, or handouts because of my race. You say one thing about what's happening in the U.S right now and you are racist. I tell people I don't believe in gay marriage I'm spewing hate. I don't beat up on or hate gay people, I don't attempt to make them feel bad, but they do the same to me. If Hobby Lobby and Chic-Fa-Le have their own beliefs, they are ignorant, and hateful. However, gay pride parades happen throughout the U.S. and there are even businesses that support that, do I refuse to shop or eat at these places? No, because telling them they can't believe and feel what they feel IS ignorant, and because Liberalism is on the trend in society I am the devil.

I have always tried to defend my beliefs, even when they get me into trouble. In college, I had a huge falling out with my peers for two reasons, one being the only person defending a strict professor. Two professor's at my school had it out for each other, and in an immature act, had the students stand out to defend them. The professor that let minors over to her house to have parties, and drink, and who gave easy A's in class had over fifty kids come to her aid. The other professor who had hard courses and was deemed a grumpy old man, had me. Needless to say, she pushed him into retirement, and everyone lived happy and partied on. My voice counted for nothing that day, as it did yesterday. But sometime doing what's right makes you look bad, makes you unpopular, or even makes you "old". In conclusion to my raving, don't do what makes you more agreeable, no one cares if you were popular in whatever afterlife you believe in.