Always hard to say goodbye

Third down on the list of people I absolutely adore, is my step-father. He has been the only positive male figure that stayed in my life, and loved me through the hard times. He had a saying when I got into trouble when I was younger, that eventually just became a family joke. He would smirk and say "Why do you keep doing it to yourself, why do you keep coming back for more?". We used to think it's funny, but now I would just say it was foreshadowing. I spent my teenage years ignorant, and cruel, and because of that I feel like when someone tells me I do something they don't like, I correct my life for them. I wish I could have an "in-between button", but I don't. And because I don't, that is why this will be my last post here.

I will still write and will find another site to blog on, because I can't live with a lot of these feelings inside, but it still hurts, this blog was my baby. I love everything about it, it is my home away from home. If I'm being vague, it's because I'm not alone on my blog anymore, too many eyes upon me. It's my own fault, you don't tell the people in your life that you have a blog, that's very stupid. I will continue to look up and see this as yet ANOTHER life lesson, so thank you for listening.

If you are one of the few who do listen out there, be sure to email me, and I will tell you the location and address of my new site when I find one. Shannonbeautie@yahoo.com

Love always-
               Shannon

Post Christmas pictures and Bliss

Still a little Ice on the road (and in Oklahoma, that means NO travel to any place). So I would like to Share some of my Christmas photo's :) My Family, the snow, cookie pops I made, just a bunch of silly-happiness.

Happy Holidays prt 2

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I'm a happy girl.
My sister left the house to live at Dad's when she was thirteen, I was five. So for most of my life I was raised as an only child. So with that mindset, my friends were teddy bears, the cats and dogs, and everything in the house was mine, I had never shared. So growing up, I wouldn't say I was spoiled, I never got new clothes, or candy or toys, but the things I had we're MINE. I've always been too possessive. Especially with spending time with people, I want it to be one on one, I don't like sharing the attention.

I wasn't happy then. Over the past couple of years, I've learned that giving and sharing makes you feel more love than taking and owning. I've learned that I will have pain, I will be sick, and I will be disappointed in the world. But I think as my spirit has gotten happier and my heart has gotten stronger, I could be useful to the world. I've learned that children growing up now are rejecting religion because its forced by parents, and when that happens, you get the opposite effect. I've learned that we should stop taking and taking from each other and our government. We need to humility, and gratitude. I can't even describe how lucky I am to have people that care. I may get frustrated than in 3 weeks I turn 25 and I haven't graduated and I'm still living in a tiny apartment, BUT I could have it worse, oh geez, so much worse. I've been in worse places, and seen worse people. There is always a hope in this crazy world.

This Christmas, I live like a queen, with electricity, a roof over my head, and people that love.

Thank you , and God Bless us all this Christmas Day and every day after.

Sickly

So I caught a cold from the kids I nanny. Took care of them while they were sick, and now I'm taking care of myself on the weekend, blah. Worth it, but still a pain. Well, I have today and tomorrow to recover, and then I work forty-two hours in four days this week. I just have to say, in this sad time, that although children can be a handful, they really are a blessing! I hear a lot of whining, and fits, but  they love me and I adore them. I feel for Connecticut, and hope they can find a way to see the good that is still out there. Trying to make the best out of this time, and I can't wait for family and Christmas.
          Keep the Cheer(and the DayQuil)

You almost have to say something on 12-12-12

People say spring is the time of love, and I beg to differ! What is winter without sharing a blanket, some hot chocolate, and a soft whisper with someone you adore? Winter is a time of glitter, and lights, and cookies! Big sweaters that make you look fat, and hibernating with the bear of your choice. I like to choose a papa bear, who gets irritated when I smoosh the bread, and humors me as I cry to the worst chick flick imaginable.

I've spent the longest time letting winter get the best of me. Not this year. Cinderella will not turn into a snowman this year, I will continue to be a princess all the year round. A sloppy, emotional, tights wearing princess; but a princess all the same.

Today is 12-12-12, and I am grateful for my time.

The people in my life that truly care about me are indescribable! Although I'm not the most popular girl, and the people I speak of are a small handful, they have enough love to light up my heart for many lifetimes. Friends who talk, friends who make me laugh, friends who simply listen to my sad pathetic life. I am so lucky.

I wish love could drive the world like hate. Love can be more powerful than any feeling, but it doesn't have the stamina of hate and sadness. I think Christmas (weather you celebrate it or not) brings out the best in people.People who give their last penny to make someone smile, people who preform a work of art. If you listen, you can hear music in the distance, and weather you are alone or not, someone loves you. I love you. I want to adopt the world and tell them stories of hope. Simple wishes of a simple girl on this December morning.

"I am in love with you. I have been since the first day I called on you. There are many things in your character which cure me. I prefer to tell you and I have done well, and now that I have I will suffer much less when you show me the door. But the truth is that I suffer, and my strength is wanting"
- Alfred De Musset

Happy Holidays

Downtown In December Oklahoma City :)

Fuzzy, but always so clear

He never acknowledges the ticking time bomb that is heard in never-land
The youth giving out one last cry for help.
I feel my youth, persuasion, and intelligence draining from me by the hour.
I feel my pain come and go through the charade.
I'm a good sport,
And an even better actor.
I'm a bad liar,
And even worse lover.
Truth be told,
I wasn't meant for the life of love,
I am a caged bird, a sleeping beauty, a lost soul.
I hurt and I sing.
There is a part of me that still holds onto life,
That part that convulses in the night.
My  dreams take me away and make me feel. Make me see.
Is it that hard to live like you?
Is it that hard to be real?