He never acknowledges the ticking time bomb that is heard in never-land
The youth giving out one last cry for help.
I feel my youth, persuasion, and intelligence draining from me by the hour.
I feel my pain come and go through the charade.
I'm a good sport,
And an even better actor.
I'm a bad liar,
And even worse lover.
Truth be told,
I wasn't meant for the life of love,
I am a caged bird, a sleeping beauty, a lost soul.
I hurt and I sing.
There is a part of me that still holds onto life,
That part that convulses in the night.
My dreams take me away and make me feel. Make me see.
Is it that hard to live like you?
Is it that hard to be real?
About Me
- 40% Chance of Shannon
- I am twenty-four years old, I love to read, write, sing, listen to music, watch theater, open presents, hike, and climb. The number one thing I dislike is lazy people. My goal in life over job, or money, or travel, is to overcome the struggles of the past, and become a whole, happy woman.
Good morning Shannon,
ReplyDeleteSo I have read this a few times and each time the resounding unified answer screaming within my simple mind is "NO"... I'm reminded of when I was a child and would go to the little traveling carnivals with the "funny mirrors". My sister and I would stand in front of them and suddenly I had shrunk to 3 ft tall and 3 ft wide while my sister suddenly had grown legs 10 ft long and had a 2 ft wide body. We would laugh and push and jump in and out of the others mirror, then my ADD would abruptly raise its ugly head and we would sprint to see the Rat-Lady LOL. Anyway, Self Assessment,while necessary on a daily basis, can be deep water to tread in, especially if we don't know the exact curve of the mirror that we use for our assessment. (I'm hoping with all my heart that this is clearer than mud at some point) Lets try, my point is this, while I know not what your view of you is. I know only what you choose to share. My assessment is superficial at best and limited to the single dimension of a blog. Which leads me to MY Point of View. My POV, could be completely different from your intent. For example, when I look at the pic of you putting on the eye liner; I see poise, classic beauty, a timeless picture if you will. I see Sophia Loren. I don't however know what you see in it. Id love to hear what you see, your POV on everything. I do know this though, the labels at the bottom of this post could never be concluded from my POV. Hope the water ain't to muddy. :-)
Also wanted to say thanks for another thought provoking beautiful post. Makes long nights so much eaiser.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
I wasn't trying to be mysterious, if you lived in my shoes those small sentences would make perfect sense. What I see in me changes daily, today I would see weakness, in that photo I see another performance but I do have days were I see the good, yesterday and Friday I saw beauty and self reliance. My inner battle keeps me from making a clear choice. I'm sorry if that is confusing, what it must be like to be a man and have rational feelings:)
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Shannon,
ReplyDeleteI'll admit, again, that you are absolutely right. I cant tell you how often I'm reminded that I overlook the gray and see only the black and white. I wouldn't say is my gender that drives that trait, as much as my personality, history, and career that do. Please Don't be sorry for anything you write, for I don't feel you confuse me or your audience at all. Its quite the opposite actually. You covey your feeling clearly and concisely and you have no way of knowing how much I appreciate that. Much less how anyone will interpret them. Its your femininity that makes you so attractive and your appeal flows from your writing with each new post. This was actually one of my favorite post of yours, by the way. We know so little of one another that its probably expected that misinterpretation raises its ugly head on occasion. Fortunately I have you to set me, the reader, straight. Punctuated with just a smile.
As for the "performance pic" it is I who owe you an apology. Funny how fate works, I was shopping and saw a calender with the picture that I was referring too. Yep there she was, Audrey Hepburn NOT Sophia Loren. I think I actually blushed right then and there. Guess, thats what I get for running my mouth on no sleep.
Don't let the stress of the holidays, finals, and family drag you down. It hits us all heavy. Just try to focus on the good. I have a feeling there is more good than you often see.
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ReplyDeleteYou spend so much time apologizing for things I never notice! If only people who actually made mistakes were as apologetic as you.
ReplyDeleteI do adore Audrey! She is very lovely! I love her character in breakfast at Tiffany's, child-like, needy, distant, ect. I have a lot of these qualities, and it's nice not to feel crazy. I am almost done with finals, and I actually love the holiday spirit(even though its been in the upper seventies here). I feel closer to people during this time, I love the feeling of watching someone open a present you picked out for them and the lights and glitter of the whole season. I hope you feel the same way, it's a glorious feeling!
ReplyDeleteI love to give, I love to share and Most of all I love that feeling of truly having made someone happy. I love the Holidays for that feeling it gives me when I see the excitement of others. I can see where you would feel a connection with Audrey, from all you have shared about yourself you are very alike. As for the Weather, well I think your better off than being hot and humid in SE Texas lol.
ReplyDeleteI may be out of touch again for a bit. Ill be heading to Iowa for some work. Dont know if I will be able to get online or how much but if I have to Ill head to free WiFi. Take Care.
I feel a constant out of touch! Lol, but I know you mean you will be out of touch. It makes you feel so distant when you feel different is what I meant...I'm rambling:/
ReplyDeleteYou know im a sucker for your Rambling. You have my email.
ReplyDelete:P
ReplyDeleteguess your gone now :(
ReplyDelete