I realized today that because I use my writing to vent, that I don't sound like a very happy person, but today I will try to change that. What I'm about to say may sound bitter and not as happy as Im trying to make it out to be, but know that I truly mean it when I say I'm thankful, It is a new day and I'm alive;walking, breathing and smiling, but I would like to take a second and reflect on how many times all this could have ended.
I'm thankful my father saved me as a baby, when I could have suffered shaken baby syndrome, I'm thankful my sister walked into the bathroom when I was a baby and under water in the bath tub, I'm thankful for her again when she saved me from choking on a particular brown peanut M&M when I was five,and when I was six, my step father saved me from drowning in some rapids after I fell off my tube, and when I refused to get back into the water, he graciously walked with me the entire stretch of river. I'm grateful that at the age of thirteen when I tried to swallow a bottle of 409 bathroom cleaner that I promptly threw it up, and that when I was cutting myself with scissors and knives that I never cut too deep. I'm thankful for the night in eleventh grade when I sped across town and ran every red light at 80mph, I could have died or killed another person. I'm thankful I had Matt when I skipped my senior prom and tried to drown myself. I'm thankful for my mistakes that allow me to grow stronger and see a broader perspective. Without all those people in my life who saved me, and without the grace of God, I would not be here today, and while sometimes in my life I don't enjoy the choices or paths I have to take, at least I'm here to see the few beautiful up days and the strengths of the wonderful people around me.
Thank you God for keeping me alive, when it would have been easier to let me go:)